I just read an incredible article written by a woman that has been married for 19 years. I can’t remember the last time I had anything (other than my parents and my sister) for 19 years! What an incredible testimony- marriage can and does work, you just have to be intentional and committed, and in my opinion, centered around God.
I know this is easier said than done for me right now. I’ve been infatuated with my fiancé for the last year and a half. Our pre-marital leaders call this the stage the “on drugs” stage. Rightfully so, but I’m happy on love drugs right now! I happy not getting enough of him and never being satisfied with the amount of times and ways I say ‘I love you.’ I am well aware that things will change. Life will get in the way, dirty laundry and sick babies don’t make you feel sexy or excited about much, but I’m not there right now. When we do get there, I know our foundation will be strong enough to make it through, because our relationship isn’t based on the drugs feeling that we have right now, we have a much firmer foundation.
(picture: us on love drugs)
We started our relationship after finding out that we went to the same church. Within 4 months of us dating, we were enrolled in a “Seriously Dating or Engaged” course through our church (led by Roger and Beck Tirabassi– which I would definitely recommend!). This course is designed to either bring couples together or tear them apart. It sounds harsh, but I believe one of the best gifts you could ever receive is the opportunity to know that this person is not the one for you, BEFORE you get married. We learned so much about love, God, relationship and ourselves in those 5 weeks- it was incredible! And a few months later he popped the question more confidently than ever, and of course I said YES more confident than ever.
We go to church together, we pray together (out-loud!), we are taking finance courses together, and we are also enrolled in pre-marital counseling with our pastor and his wife. I don’t share this to pat myself on the back, but more to show what intentional relationship looks like. We’ve made a pact not to let life happen to us- we are going to happen to life!
I’m so happy we have these things in place because I know we will fall back on these when times get tough. We both care deeply about making this work, and I can only hope that in 19 years I will be able to look back and write a blog much like this one: http://www.wearethatfamily.com