On Monday I decided to start an official countdown to the wedding! Just a little something I can see every morning on the bathroom mirror, with an old lipstick that I never used. It’s fun because Todd and I wake up every morning and make up silly songs about the number of days that we have left. However, it’s also painful sometimes. I already feel like we’ve been in the 70s for so long (we are at 73 days now) but I know I’m going to blink and we will be down to 20 and then 10, and then it will be here!
At least, that’s been my experience with anything I’ve anticipated in the past. Time is a funny thing- we use it to judge each other by calculating the number of hours we’ve been on the earth. We use it to gather people together in the same space and time for meetings, weddings and funerals. We use it to measure our speed and efficiency. Yet, in the moments that you anticipate the most, it seems to move unnaturally fast, like someone put their finger on the 2x fast forward button. Then the moments of despair, feeling lost or simply waiting, time drags on and on, where days are weeks and weeks are years. It’s such a finicky thing, fleeting by quickly here and ticking so slow there, yet we rely on it so heavily for nearly every decision.
Right now, 73 days sounds like an eternity to me. I’m so ready to be married so we can enjoy the other parts of each other that we’ve been holding out for. I’m ready to merge our lives officially and get on the plane to Bora Bora (our honeymoon destination) to celebrate! I’m ready to buy a house and make some babies (ok, maybe a few years on the baby thing but still). But, as my mind wanders, I wonder how short 73 days would seem if someone told me that’s all I had left on this earth. Or even just in California. Or even at my job… how my attitude would change knowing the end is such a measurable short time away.
If time is all we have, I guess for now I’ll just hold tight to the days that fly by and relax into the ones that move like molasses J